Remarriage and Divorce

The new marriage or divorce of a parent or family member is difficult and brings significant changes. That feeling of intrusion is inevitable (if children from a previous marriage are involved) and can cause strife between individuals. A new marriage (after being previously married) can be hard because of old habits. A new spouse could feel inadequate and compared to the old spouse if mentioned frequently. Divorce on the other hand brings a wide variety of emotions. As a child, my father experienced 5 or more divorces between his two parents. It made my dad's self esteem drop, he blamed himself, and gained attachment issues because everyone he loved seemed to leave. Divorces make individuals question themselves and make them ask why they are not good enough for the other spouse. Depression is a direct effect of divorce, and it can take months or even years to get over it. Divorces can end pleasantly, but most often they are quite ugly. Nobody wants to go through a divorce unless it is completely necessary. In both new marriages and divorces, many people are affected and it can be an issue that will change lives forever.

Parenting

After reading the chapter on Parenting in our textbook, it has made me very excited about the thought of one day having my own family (including children). Being married to my best friend is an encouraging start, but it will be a special day when we find out we are pregnant. It is a stark contrast between the values of the world and the Church on the stance of having children. The world would like us to wait, pursue careers and travel before conceiving, but the Church thinks it is inappropriate to prioritize such things above having children. Just looking at the average (non-lds family), the average size is 2 maybe 3. Member of the Mormon faith tend to have average size families of 4 or 5+ children. It is amazes me to see such young newlyweds taking a leap of faith and having children. Resources and finances are tight making each individual situation stressful. We can be better parents when we let the Lord guide our decisions on when to have children, and it is nobody else's business to interfere with that decision. The opportunity to have children is a divine right, and one that should not be taken for granted.

Fatherhood and the Effects of Parents Being Home on Children

I value the role of parents and how much they influence their children. I, unlike some LDS children, was raised in a home where both my parents worked. My mother never wanted to burden my father with all of the financial responsibility, and therefore she became a fifth grade teacher. I never felt like I missed out on anything as a child because both of my parents are were home whenever I was. I found it interesting that President Benson considered it doctrine that women should stay home. I like the two points that were brought up in class. 1.) If you put a money value to the house cleaning, child care, and cooking that takes place daily by the wife that is definitely an asset and essentially a money saving solution. 2.) I believe Jacob said that just because a mother stays at home, doesn't mean she can't leave the home. It is important that we realize how important it is to be a parent who supports and listens to their child, and that is easy if we are home when they are. Money is not everything, and often-times families can live comfortably (even if not lavishly) on just a father's income.

Communication in a Marriage

I have always found communication to be important and fascinating. This is probably one of the reasons why I made it my Major at BYU-Idaho. I really enjoyed our little drawing experiment we conducted class today. I believe that it fully explains why it is important to learn how to understanding and "decode" one another's messages. We truly learn how to communicate with one another when we have been around them long enough to know their communication loop. Another important take away from the class this evening was the value in alone time between spouses. As newlyweds we often have alot of alone time, but I know that may not be the case when we begin to build our family. It may sound silly, but some of the most memorable and important conversations my husband and I have had have been in bed alone before we go to sleep. I appreciate the relaxing environment and alone time we are able to spend with one another away from the busy and bustling world. Communication is key in every successful relationship, and I am grateful that we have smooth communication in ours.